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It has been a whirlwind couple of weeks! There was Houston/Friendswood, TX, San Diego, and New York City (said in the way they say it in the Pace commercials: Neww York citaaay!?”).
In NY, I had the distinct pleasure of attending the Sex & The City 2 Premier after party. We were supposed to wear ugly Google t shirts, but Laura and I said fuck it, this is our one chance to meet a celebrity husband (at least that was my train of thought) and we got all gussied up. On a related note, I had not brought anything to wear to such an event and, as a result, spent so much at Anthropologie, that Visa called thinking I had been robbed. Might as well have been. But, I got a premier-worthy reworked vintage dress. Thank god people were tiny in the old days, because for once something from Anthro actually fit me. Laura suggested that I expense it since it was for a work event, but I feel like my manager (while he has let me expense such ridiculous things as batteries for a robotic dinosaur) might have questioned that one.
Our purported reason for being there was to “work” a “booth” showcasing the Parisian Love video and the tool where users can make their own search stories.
Our actual party activities consisted of: drinking fun drinks, hobnobbing with celebs (okay…gawking and creepily rubbing Chris Noth’s leg when he was standing next to me), and dancing like fools. A fun time was had by all (especially Mr Big, wink wink).
From there, however, things went downhill. I was called upon to work the amazing Doodle 4 Google event, which was actually not why things went downhill. However, I had booked 2 nights at a hotel, not 3, and needed a place to stay Tuesday night. Easy enough, right- Manhattan must have like 100,000 hotel rooms. Unfortunately, the only ones available were $600+. Actual transcription of my phone call to The Standard:
Me: Hello, do you have any rooms available tonight?
Lady: I’m sorry, we’re fully committed except for a room that is $1300 per night.
Me: (Briefly considers it but does quick comparative analysis and realizes this is more than my monthly rent) Okay, thank you.
I checked Orbitz, Expedia, even tried to Priceline a hotel for $350 (our max spend is supposed to be $215)- no luck! Literally, not a single room in Manhattan. Who knew? Though work was footing the bill, I just felt irresponsible for having them pay $700 for me for one night when that’s like, basically how much I make per month. TRAVEL FAIL!
The amazing part was that I got to stay with Rieka! My BFF from college who is the best ever. We had a great time.
Today, I attended the amazingly fun Doodle 4 Google event, featuring talented child artists and their Google Doodles. Also, there was fried chicken in Central Park (no, there is no better combination, in case you were wondering). I left the event, fat and happy (and mildly sweaty, it was, after all 92 degrees) and headed to our office to grab my suitcase. Then, I cheerfully made my way to the street, knowing that it would be SO easy to get a cab, unlike SF where is near-impossible. Think again, sucka!
I stood on the corner for 20 minutes and a disturbing trend emerged. I asked to be taken to JFK, and was repeatedly told they wouldn’t take me. I literally started offering drivers a $100 cash tip (good for a one hour stay at The Standard), and yet NO ONE WOULD TAKE ME. What is this, bizarro world? Then cabs flat out just drove by me- the fat, shiny, wet lump on the corner, lugging a suitcase that could only be destined for the airport. This was a problem, as it was after 4 and my flight was at 6.
I later found out, from another cabbie, why nobody would pick us up (no, it wasn’t BO). They were all about to get off their shifts, and so nobody wanted to make a 3 hour round trip to the airport. Does it seem like poor organizational planning to anyone else to have every cab driver in NY get off work at exactly the same time?
I grumpily stomped back to the Google lobby and our saint of a receptionist began calling car services for me. Meanwhile, I went downstairs to continue pursuing Mission:Impossible. Finally a car service was found that could pick me up in 5 minutes. I saw some other hopeless soul with a suitcase trying to get a cab, and was like “Hey lady, come with me!” She luckily didn’t mistake me for a pervert, and came along. She was a global VP of marketing for Allergan (maker of latisse, botox, and implants- all my favorite hobbies), so we had a nice chat.
Sadly, nice chat doesn’t eliminate terrible rush hour traffic, and I ended up at the airport 5 minutes before my flight took off. I’m still confident that I could have made the sprint to the plane, but AA wouldn’t even let me print a boarding pass.
TRAVEL FAIL!
Dejected, I stood in the line to change my flight, while simultaneously waiting on hold on the phone to change my flight. In case you were wondering, the phone route was actually faster. Then, I sat on the floor of the airport and booked a hotel 5 minutes from where I was sitting. Which brings us to the current state of things: me, in my hotel bed, a half eaten room service sandwich, and this blog.
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